Caught up

I think I am caught up with my daily posting. I’ll have to check later. I think it’s been 3 weeks and I haven’t gotten more than like 12 hours behind. I see that I’m usually falling behind when I forget to post at night and just fall asleep with the baby. So I mostly have had the post written, maybe not revised and just forgot to post it. There were probably two days that I didn’t write anything during the day and I had to catch up. I find that I’m writing just about random things that pop up in my mind while I think I was intending the blog to be more like a journal with some recording of my actions, moods, experiences for that day. So I’m going to work on that. I obviously don’t Intend it to be tremendously personal but I still want it to be more of like a snapshot of my life that I can look back at later. Speaking of that - It would be nice to add some photos. Anyways just checking in and brainstorming. Everyday is not meant to be profound . About today : my partner is having two trees delivered for the backyard. 1 dogwood and the other is a maple. I’m excited for the dogwood because I love blooming trees and the salesman’s told us it blooms after the redbud trees and that it has more color in the fall leaves than the redbud. I like this idea so I think it was a good selection. It’s funny that our backyard has a privacy fence but our house is on a slope or hill so we’re pretty sure the neighbors ca. see right in. Especially the neighbors right behind us. It makes you feel like you have absolutely no privacy. My partner also planted many flowers and some blueberry bushes in the backyard this spring/summer. My very favorite things he planted were the cone flowers which we bought specifically for me . And also the wildflowers. It was simply a packet of wildflower seeds but they had the most wonderful blooms. I love flowers and especially wildflowers. We also had some sunflowers pop up. One of which was the largest sunflower I’ve seen in my life. It truly stood taller than our roof but as the sunflower bloomed it began to droop. Sadly, in a week or two it had drooped all the way to the ground. It was glorious while it lasted and quite fun anticipating it’s eruption. I realized in my late twenties that I absolutely loved fresh flowers. I am happy that my partner has started this garden so that I might be able to learn to garden one day and fill my home with fresh flowers. I know it’s a simple thing but it truly invigorates me. Fresh flowers fill me with a bit of happiness and hope. This is very rare for me. Hopefully that rareness of happiness and hope will change for me but in my almost all of teens and twenties were filled with doom, fear, terror and despair. The cloud seemed to part a bit in my thirties - although I’ve had a bit of a rough patch for the last 4 years (since 2020). My son has brought some surely needed happiness, hope, awe, wonder, and joy into these trying postpartum and infancy moments. But here’s the happy surprises and the ease of wild blooms.