Overwhelmed and Underweight

Many days I’m so overwhelmed. I am leaning into my spiritual beliefs - into my Creator. I don’t want to delve back into my old ways. My pessimism and negative rumination. I know that gets me nothing. I choose to believe in a high power, who wants nothing but goodness for me. A Creator who has blessings and gifts waiting for me. As I surrender into this test - to the hardest challenge on MY life. I understand that everyone’s challenges are different. I’m not going to judge myself against other people anymore. What looks easy on some may not actually be easy and everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. Just because motherhood looks and is hard on me - doesn’t mean that I should feel shame. Again everyone has different strengths and abilities - and different hurdles and resources. Every child is different as well! I am keeping my head up in this challenging from now on. I will no longer judge myself against others as a mother. As long as your child’s basic. physical, emotional and medical needs are being met - you are a good mother. It may not be pretty like Instagram and social media mom influencers make it look but you are doing your best - under your specific circumstances and conditions. I love my baby immensely and everyday I’m trying to be a better mother and homemaker. As I’ve been saying to myself : everyday is a new day and everyday I am making progress whether it’s indiscernible from the outside it’s still progress. Small steps will eventually be great leaps. Negativity only gets me stuck. I am trusting in God’s blessings for me. I am trusting in God’s promises. I am believing in a more beautiful world. This hurts no one to believe in the beauty and opportunity each day has to offer. What has brought me awe and wonder today ? What gifts and presents will I receive today ? Every day I receive a gift from God. Everyday I see a wonder. I stand in awe. Thank you God. Thank you for your blessings. I will look out of them. I am ready.