Feeling Behind In Life
Firstly, everyone has different opinions, standards, perspectives, even situations in life where the timeline for your life needs to be different. Maybe things need to happen sooner or you just lucked out and they did. In general, I hate the importance placed on outward success in your 20’s. I think that is not achieved by most people yet we all think we are supposed to have it. Most people in their twenties either aren’t concerned at all with this or are obsessed with it and use it as a barometer for their whole life . Researchers have discovered that puberty and adolescence is really a lot longer than we thought spanning from as young as age 9 to age 28 or 29. It takes that long for your brain to fully develop. It takes a woman 10 years after her first menstrual cycle for her reproductive system to fully develop - until the age of 19 -26 (depending on the woman). Another reason why not to start your teenage daughter on birth control unless she really is at high risk for pregnancy. Studies are finding it takes humans a lot longer to develop and mature than we had originally thought. In addition life expectancy is a lot longer and our children are dong much better so there’s no reason to have 6 to 10 children anymore unless that’s what you want to do. I personally think your 20’s should be a time of adult exploration and self discovery. A time for you to figure out what you do and don’t like, want to do with your life, and if you’re lucky - travel. Personally I wouldn’t have kids or get married before 30 unless you absolutely knew you had the right partner, knew yourself really well or you knew that you had a medical necessity to - (women of a certain blood type have lower egg viability in their 30’s). I think the pressure to perform and have a great career in your 20’s is unrealistic for most people. I detest those 30 under 30 lists. What did you really know about yourself under the age of 30? Now that I have entered my 40’s - I know so much more about myself and what I want. Yes I still make mistakes but I actually do feel a lot wiser and kinder. My 20’s were full of experiences but mostly not the experiences I thought I would have or wanted to have and it was filled with a lot of undue heartbreak, pain, fear and terror. I have a lot of regrets for my 20’s, even in my 30’s I feel like I wasted too much time. To my 40’s - I think they will be my best decade yet. Bottom line: everyone’s life is so different and everyone is so unique there is no way you are behind. Do not compare yourself to others. You may not have to Sam’s resources or support - it’s not always about talent, skill, hard work, discipline or focus . Sometimes you are doing the best you can with the tools you have been given. Give yourself a bit of a break. It’s not a competition or comparison. It took me until I was in my late 30’s to realize life is really not a competition even though everyone is selling you this idea. I repeat : It’s not a competition. Do what makes you happy. Learn about yourself. Love yourself as much as possible. Be kind to others. Try to do as little harm as possible. That’s about it. Who cares who is first ? They may not be happy. They may not be kind or good. They may have trampled on people to get where they are at. They may have had way more support resources help and love than you . They may hate what they are doing. You never know what others are going through, what they feel, what their true wants and desires are. Maybe they had no talent, no help and just worked a lot harder than you. But maybe they were miserable in the end or maybe they did it because of childhood trauma or having no self esteem or love. So in that - just do what you love and if it turns out good: Good. If it doesn’t - it’s all good because you are loving what you do, loving the journey.
Jour Dix.
