Ketchup & Counting my Wins

I’m a little behind on my work these days. I have a few posts that I’ve started but haven’t completed. I just decided to not force anything. I’m only 2-3 days behind so I thought to just let it be. My son finally had a few teeth emerge. I hear that the teething troubles will get better from now on. I’ve had a few good and bad days. Tuesday night I made a delicious dinner: Creamy Tuscan Chicken and mashed potatoes. It was well received. The baby loved it. I know the food is good if he will sit in his high chair for more than 5 minutes. He’s a good eater in general but he just seemed to have an endless stomach for this one. I was proud of myself . I recently heard that you should congratulate yourself and celebrate your wins no matter how small because it can put you into a “winner mentality “ increasing the odds of you winning more in every area of your life. Now I am saying out loud to myself and my baby through the day: “ I am doing such a great job.” “ I am a good mommy.” “ I am a great cook.” Things like this because 1: it counteracts my negative thoughts and 2: I think it teaches my baby about having self confidence, positive thoughts and speech. I hope to continue to do this. I want him to be more positive than I have been.

I visited my mother yesterday and it was nice to see her. It’s an hour drive and luckily the baby just slept both ways. He usually hates car rides but I timed it around his naps. My mom loved seeing the baby. It’s a terrible thing that I hadn’t been able to visit for almost 2 months because of a covid scare and also the heat. August and September seem like the hottest months in the Midwest for the past couple of years. Since we are in October it has begun to cool down. I normally love the rain but the recent rain has stirred up some stress because of my anxiety and OCD around dirt, mold and cleanliness. It might sound stupid or silly but if you have it then you know what I’m talking about. The pet situation is so terrible to me because I didn’t know that I would have some much of an issue around the animals plus baby. Without the baby the animals did not bother me. Now it bothers me so much it’s unbelievable the difference. All I can do is try to remain calm and pray about it. I, of course, prefer my baby. I should have known this because I’ve never been an animal lover. Of course puppies and some dogs are so adorable and cute but having them in your house is a completely different thing. I’m only realizing this just now. But back to the good stuff.

Counting your wins. I never learned how to do this. I had a super critical narcissist father and ex. Everything in life was about examining myself for flaws so I could get better. However, that really only makes you feel like everything about you and everything you do sucks and isn’t good enough. So everyday instead I’m going to count my wins. What did I do today that went right ? What am I doing so far as a mother that is going well? What am I proud of myself for? Since this is internal - these wins can be small. You don’t have to be so humble inside yourself. Who does it hurt to think that you are a winner ?! No one. I choose to believe that I am a winner. My life is a success! My life is going to plan! In fact, only a few small things have to change for me to be a tremendous success actually! We hear and read about this all the time. Only one or a few small things have to change or work out for me to be a huge success. I choose to believe that I am very close. I am very close to my wildest dreams coming true.

I am a winner and If you look around and see the goodness in your life you will find that you are too. If you live in a first world country: you won the location lottery. If you are healthy: you have won the genetics lottery. If you are reasonably good looking - especially as a woman: you are very blessed. But it’s a lot easier to be good looking if you don’t complicate it with ideas of needing to look perfect. You need to be in a healthy BMI, take care of your skin and hair, do a little make up and blam you are probably way more attractive than you think you are. You’re sitting there scrolling fake images and looking at celebrities and models who have a ton of make up, filters, beauty experts curating their entire look. You are probably way more beautiful than you give yourself credit for. And if you think having a perfectly symmetrical face is beauty look it up - that’s not even true. If you think having big eyes is beauty and you have average size eyes - seriously it’s not true. For every type of look - there is beauty in it. Stop wishing to look like someone else. It’s silly . I’ve done that my whole life. The realty is the person you think you want to look like might be wanting to look like you. People are never happy with what they have. I am so guilty of this. Stop romanticizing other people’s lives. Try to romanticize yourself and your own life. Just focus on being a healthy weight, taking care of your skin, hair, nails and dress for your body shape. I promise you many people will find you very attractive.

Now think about how else are you could be winning in life? Do you have a savings account, a Roth IRA, a 401k, make above minimum wage, own a home, have a car or even a paid off car ? A lot of people don’t have these. If you have any or all of these things - you could be winning more than you know. Do you have children ? Some people cannot have children. If you have a healthy child/ children - that’s a blessing (even though I know these little ones can kick your ass! These early years can be so hard but they are a blessing and a miracle.) Do you have family or friends ? Do you have even one friend? Some people don’t. Do you have a job you are passionate about regardless of what you earn right now? These are just examples. (I don’t currently have all these things by the way.)

I want to be more grateful in life but I want to also start reframing it. I want to use gratitude as a way to build self confidence, to take some ownership of the positive things I do have. I want to say yeah I did this. I am a winner! I contributed to a lot of the goodness in my life. I have made plenty of good decisions. I am proud of myself. Everyday I am winning in small ways and sometimes very big. Count your wins - not your faults or your flaws. “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” baby. Kindness is an amazing virtue. Try it on yourself and see what may change in your life and inside your heart.